l start this one off by saying, first and foremost, YOU are a warrior. You have been through so much and have become this beautiful amazing human being to show for every setback and downside, and for that, you should be proud. This week, I’ve been lamenting over the time it takes to really heal from experiences that have hurt us. Why it takes so long to really “get over” a hardship, and why most women (and men!) beat themselves up for months and even years for harboring hurt feelings after a big emotional blow.
Prioritize Yourself First, and then share that with others
I’m a huge empath, not only does this make me a bit of a drama queen sometimes, but realistically, I carry my own and others’ emotions both positive and negative like a weight on my back. I empathize hard to show others that I care but I’ll admit, this can be burdensome. It’s like taking on the majority of someone else’s weight and then once the rug is pulled from underneath you, you go tumbling down with double the hardship to work through in order to rise up again. This makes it twice as hard to heal, be fair to yourself, it’s more than okay to care for others and empathize with them, but you have to give yourself a chance to thrive first!
Stop Rethinking Old Memories
I’m a culprit of this one, big time. I look back on the nice moments and dwell about how lovely they were instead of looking at the present situation for what it is. Further delaying my own healing process and thus putting yourself through it TWICE, and nobody needs THAT! NOT on our path to healing! Take the memories for what they were and remember that they will not be making a second appearance in your life. Period.
Give Yourself Ample Time To Grieve
I’m not saying wallow in your grief with no end in sight, but allow yourself to grieve. I recently made sure this was a point I applied to my own healing process. I needed to grieve. If I had to cry, I cried. If I had to talk through it, I called my best friend. If I had to invest myself in other areas of my life to add positivity and purpose, I did that too. Too often, people try to rush the grieving process and end up delaying any healing whatsoever! Myself Included! So, let it out, all the way out. If you want to heal, you’ve got to feel (I’m sorry, I had to throw that one in there!)
Throw away the Victim Card
This may be cliche, but don’t make yourself the victim. You are a warrior, remember? When things don’t work out and I’m knocked out emotionally, I try to think that something better is meant for me. One door closed brings endless opportunities packaged in so many different ways. This is the part where I dream and DREAM BIG. You never know what door is being opened for you.
Kick, and Shout, and TALK IT OUT!
You thought I was done with the rhyming, huh? This one is simple! Talk to someone, whether it be a close friend, a therapist, a family member, or just someone in your life that you trust. Keyword: TRUST. The best way to heal is to have someone lend an ear who is also not afraid to tell you the truth. Healing involves active participation in committing to moving forward. So do just that, move forward and don’t look back, there’s nothing you need back there!
Final Thought: You will heal when you’re ready, not when others tell you that you should be ready, but when YOU are ready. Don’t forget that!