I realized somewhere in my 23 years around the Sun that there are two versions of myself. The first is the one that is so excited about learning new things and becoming the version of me that I’ve always imagined. Cool-tempered, adventurous, stylish, and self-expressive. The second is the version of myself that is timid and never really “goes for it” out of fear of rejection, failure, and judgment. The one that would rather sit in the back of a crowded room, quiet, and unnoticed than being the center of attention that lights up every room she enters. Unfortunately, when the two versions of me go head to head and duke it out, the second one typically knocks the first one flat on her face. Now… this is probably the most normal thing a 20 something could go through at this stage of life. Why? Because fear is powerful. But you know what is more powerful? You.
Don’t Let Self Doubt be your Reality
Think about how many times in your life you’ve dreamed about the person you could become and before you ever got the chance to really give it a go, you’ve already created a laundry list of reasons as to why you would fail. Self-doubt festers and grows out of fear. I once read a post that said, the fear of being “too much”, the fear of not being “enough”, is the fear of being you. Fear can ebb and flow for a number of reasons, pressure from friends, family, financial security, societal judgment. It’s like you’re staring at the water from the top of a cliff and the water seems vast and endless, like your fears. In your mind, you KNOW that everything you want is right there at your fingertips and you’re sitting atop the rocky ridges and dreaming of what life could be like down in the water. Well, I’m telling you now, jump.
Jump off the cliff you’ve created
So here we are, standing at the edge of a metaphorical cliff, fighting to become the version of ourselves that we have always envisioned. Because really, you have to lose yourself to choose yourself. At some point, that tugging in a particular direction or niche, or hobby is the universe pulling you toward something that you are meant to explore. Let it pull you in and feed that part of yourself that you’ve always wanted to be. Stop telling yourself you would never get there before you even have a chance to take the first step. Cliff dive into the life that you have always wanted. Arms open, smiling from ear to ear and screaming into the cold blue water.
Let your Curious Side Take Over
Once you take that dive into the life you can see yourself in, reflect. The mere thought of taking the leap over the cliff was the hardest part! Meanwhile, screaming your face off from the adrenaline rush on the way down was a HUGE release of energy, stress, and previously held doubts. Remember, taking the leap is the hardest part. So, jump, scream, kick, smile, and let yourself live. Then emerge with more clarity and understanding. This can be true, for exploring a new hobby, moving to a new country, or being stuck at the intersection of any big decision. You already have everything you need inside yourself.
So just jump
